I don't know what is going on, but I can't sleep... Already since Friday. Tonight I have already put together almost an entire draft for a manuscript, and I really think that's enough of work. But still - the Monsieur Sleep is nowhere to be seen... so I will write more.
Another highlight from today is the fact that I finally talked to my boss about my salary. So eventually I should get money again. I say eventually, because the paperwork moves veeeery slowly in my building. But - by Christmas I should be safe:)
But I still feel bad. It's so weird. I have earned this, but I can't ask for it, and even feel bad getting it. If I would hear it from someone else, I would say that it's ridiculous. But when it's my own things - I can't. Things to learn I guess. But still - after Christmas there will be no "flowerparty", as apparently there is no source for funding. So I think I need to catapult out of this university SOMEhow, and I think my boss will be the one making the effort to get rid of me. Which is good in a way, as usually bosses love to keep the "cheap" labor. But I'm not cheap. I'm highly qualified and expensive Eastern - European!
But people are SO nice. I know that I have friends who will help me, when the "narrow end is coming up" (kitsas käes). And it feels so good! I must have been clearly hallucinal, when in the summer I felt that nobody cares. Because people do care.
The NICEST thing was the "knight in shining armor on a white horse", chickpeas, bread and yogurt in the basket. Thank you SO much!
Life is good, if you have friends:) I feel so indescribably touched and happy! (and still not sleepy!)
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