supergirl

Not the easiest times. I have gazillion projects on the go, home to find and then it is still summer and I should take the last out of it (because who knows how will I make it through the winter). And some days and nights I am just so damn overwhelmed and tired that I don't know what to do...
'But I'm a Supergirl
and supergirls don't cry.'
...

date

A virtual one, but still:)
hence it's the song of the day today.

Nouvelle vague 'dance with me'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekQZPozjCX8

I hereby pronounce you husband and wife

I woke up early this morning, around 5.13 or so. It was way too early to get up, so I was levitating on the border of sleep and awake. I was frightened awake again at 6.48, and not because I was late for work, but because of the dream I had.

My friends had arranged a wedding for me. It was just 15 minutes before the ceremony and I even did not have the dress on yet (it was my friend's wedding dress). And I REALLY did not want to put it on and go. I did not know they guy (his name was Tormi... ???) and most importantly I was in love with someone else and my biggest concern was that how will I go home after the weekend, ring in my finger, and tell that 'I just got married'.

Uh, thankfully I woke up before the dress got buttoned up and there was no ring on my finger when I woke up. But I still feel disturbed.

what's wrong with you?

This could also be called ‘Depression is an answer to everything! Or so the doctors think.’

I have more-less recovered by now, but last week I experienced the worst doctor’s appointment ever! It was so bad that I considered immediate moving back to Canada.

First she had double-booked the time and then just ignored the fact that there was a small kid outside waiting. When I entered, there was no ‘hello’. Also the nurse was standing on the patient’s chair and doing something under the ceiling.

‘What’s wrong with you (Mis sul viga on)?’ the doctor asked, when I was standing in the middle of the room with all of my stuff.
‘Well, I … ‘
And then the nurse finished the ceiling business, gave me the chair and started attaching all sorts of wires and telling me not to talk.

Hmmm…

Finally I got the worrisome issues told. She wanted to do the blood work (and so did I), but she wanted to do it on Tuesday morning. I live in Tallinn though… ‘Then take another doctor!’, she said. Well, yes, but it requires energy and right now I just need some immediate help to carry me through the upcoming days (and then I will most definitely take another doctor!!).

Anyway, I got the blood work order for 3 things that I knew I wanted to check (she did not add any new ideas) and even argued with my theory (which I know I was correct). The punch-line: eat fruit, do nice things and rest. And you will feel better.

Wow.

And on Monday I called to find out the results. The tests came back negative, and she concluded: hereby I diagnose depression. Go to the psychiatrist. And oh, by the way, they are mostly privately held businesses.

Did I mention, that I saw the doctor for 7 minutes, she never asked about my health in the past nor did she never touch me. Magical diagnosing skills.
And I thought that the time in Canada, when they thought that I cannot adjust with the different culture, was the worst.
No wonder Estonians have bad health.

PS! Later I recalled that the same family doctor advised carrot to treat myocarditis...

happiness is...

... when your best friend's grandmother is welcoming you with the widest smile after she has not seen you for seven years. And she said: you have not changed at all.

Ah:)

Täpsustus:

Memm: ja midagi ei ole muutunud.

Mina: jah, ainult et lapsi on juurde tulnud.

Memm: ei, sinuga ei ole muutunud.

Mina: jah, ainult et kooli lõpetasin ära.

Memm: ei, ma mõtlen, et sa näed välja ikka sama ilus ja noor.

Not vot siis - blond!