Wednesday, October 31, 2007
and the prize for the best costume goes to...
... me! That's right! I scored it! ONCE in my UofO life I win something. I love Halloween! And actually won even two prizes. My costume was chosen to be the most creative by student voters, and the BEST by professor and staff voters. Yay! I don't have good pics yet, but I post what I do have. You might wonder, who could I be... I like to call myself Evil(in) Angel.
Maestro Eri Klas
I almost killed myself last night. Through overeating. Thankfully I had enough brains to wear a skirt,
so this made things easier, in a sense of fitting the food somewhere.
We (Ottawa Estonian Society) were hosting Eri Klas - world known conductor. We take him out for dinner
for the third time.
I remember the first time he came, and we thought, that we need to do something...
Flowers? - Of course, but is it enough? Booze? - hmmm...maybe not appropriate... So we decided that
dinner would be nice. And then we were so scared to call him. We thought, that such a great man might
not even want to talk to us. But he was happy to talk, and even happier to join us for dinner. He is cool!
He is also SO funny! The stories he tells are hilarious. He has given concerts all over the world, and
everywhere something funny has happened to him.
So the dinner was just wonderful! We went to Chelsea (in Quebec), to the restaurant called Les Fougeres.
Wonderful food (but you don't want to know the price :P) Tonight I will go for the concert. It should be awesome.
Hopefully he didn't fall asleep right after getting home, like I did. I was just SO full, that I
couldn't even sit. So I had to lay down, and then I fell asleep... I woke up at 3, just to move to bed.
But I can do my things today. But he still had to learn for todays concert.
Friday, October 26, 2007
igav...
I am SO bored... It's Friday night, and I have no deadlines, and I could do ANYthing, and I feel bored. What's up with this? I am not even sleepy... Even though I did get my sleep back after Fiona and I finished a nice bottle of wine and watched Goodbye, Lenin (great movie!!). And so I slept well on Wednesday and Thursday. And now - not sleepy anymore.
and there are no new e-mails.
there are even no old un-read e-mails.
not even from my boss.
i have read them all.
i even answered a few.
and i read Postimees.
and i read Delfi.
and i read all the blogs i have bookmarked.
some blog writers i even don't know, but i like their style and thoughts.
so then I got an idea, let's google. but what to google? DNA or antimicrobial peptides are definitely not appropriate for 10 pm Friday. So I tried "huvitav" (interesting in Estonian). Nothing. And then I tried "ilus". Nothing. Except I learned that there was King Ilus during the Trojan incident. So I tried pictures. And what I found - a spanish (?) illustrator with wonderfully cool pictures. Check: http://www.pcastelao.com/galeria01.htm
This one is really cool: http://www.pcastelao.com/ilusb18.jpg
Yesterday was the best day of this week. Because the day started with an awesome e-mail from Kullionu! Best moments ever to read about life on the other side of the puddle.
As the day before had "gone to the forest" at work, I tried my best to accomplish something. The effort was considerable, me thinks... And I also organized a movie night.
"2 days in Paris" is a wonderful movie. It's about a French+American couple who went to Venice for vacation, and on their way back they stop in Paris for 2 days. The girl is from Paris. And then there are all sorts of things happening. Interesting and very funny. Quite a bit of sex talk. In a way this girl reminded me myself... Definitely something to think about.
And the night before I went to movies with my neighbor, who invited me for movies already long ago. I didn't want to break his heart again, so we went to the closest "commercial" (a la Hollywood movies) cinema. As in my favorite movie theater was playing a movie about gay couple, and I thought that my 50+ "date" wouldn't find it too interesting.
There wasn't too much to choose from at this "commercial" one. One western - no, thanks! One with very obscure title - also, iffy. And "the comebacks". A comedy. Sports comedy. Will Ferrell kind of comedy. Ok, fine, let's take this. And - it was funny! Also totally brain free. And very stupid. But funny. So it was good! The wine will be for another time.
Hmm... 22.35... Still too early to go to bed...
and there are no new e-mails.
there are even no old un-read e-mails.
not even from my boss.
i have read them all.
i even answered a few.
and i read Postimees.
and i read Delfi.
and i read all the blogs i have bookmarked.
some blog writers i even don't know, but i like their style and thoughts.
so then I got an idea, let's google. but what to google? DNA or antimicrobial peptides are definitely not appropriate for 10 pm Friday. So I tried "huvitav" (interesting in Estonian). Nothing. And then I tried "ilus". Nothing. Except I learned that there was King Ilus during the Trojan incident. So I tried pictures. And what I found - a spanish (?) illustrator with wonderfully cool pictures. Check: http://www.pcastelao.com/galeria01.htm
This one is really cool: http://www.pcastelao.com/ilusb18.jpg
Yesterday was the best day of this week. Because the day started with an awesome e-mail from Kullionu! Best moments ever to read about life on the other side of the puddle.
As the day before had "gone to the forest" at work, I tried my best to accomplish something. The effort was considerable, me thinks... And I also organized a movie night.
"2 days in Paris" is a wonderful movie. It's about a French+American couple who went to Venice for vacation, and on their way back they stop in Paris for 2 days. The girl is from Paris. And then there are all sorts of things happening. Interesting and very funny. Quite a bit of sex talk. In a way this girl reminded me myself... Definitely something to think about.
And the night before I went to movies with my neighbor, who invited me for movies already long ago. I didn't want to break his heart again, so we went to the closest "commercial" (a la Hollywood movies) cinema. As in my favorite movie theater was playing a movie about gay couple, and I thought that my 50+ "date" wouldn't find it too interesting.
There wasn't too much to choose from at this "commercial" one. One western - no, thanks! One with very obscure title - also, iffy. And "the comebacks". A comedy. Sports comedy. Will Ferrell kind of comedy. Ok, fine, let's take this. And - it was funny! Also totally brain free. And very stupid. But funny. So it was good! The wine will be for another time.
Hmm... 22.35... Still too early to go to bed...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
inimesed kõik on head/people are good
I don't know what is going on, but I can't sleep... Already since Friday. Tonight I have already put together almost an entire draft for a manuscript, and I really think that's enough of work. But still - the Monsieur Sleep is nowhere to be seen... so I will write more.
Another highlight from today is the fact that I finally talked to my boss about my salary. So eventually I should get money again. I say eventually, because the paperwork moves veeeery slowly in my building. But - by Christmas I should be safe:)
But I still feel bad. It's so weird. I have earned this, but I can't ask for it, and even feel bad getting it. If I would hear it from someone else, I would say that it's ridiculous. But when it's my own things - I can't. Things to learn I guess. But still - after Christmas there will be no "flowerparty", as apparently there is no source for funding. So I think I need to catapult out of this university SOMEhow, and I think my boss will be the one making the effort to get rid of me. Which is good in a way, as usually bosses love to keep the "cheap" labor. But I'm not cheap. I'm highly qualified and expensive Eastern - European!
But people are SO nice. I know that I have friends who will help me, when the "narrow end is coming up" (kitsas käes). And it feels so good! I must have been clearly hallucinal, when in the summer I felt that nobody cares. Because people do care.
The NICEST thing was the "knight in shining armor on a white horse", chickpeas, bread and yogurt in the basket. Thank you SO much!
Life is good, if you have friends:) I feel so indescribably touched and happy! (and still not sleepy!)
Another highlight from today is the fact that I finally talked to my boss about my salary. So eventually I should get money again. I say eventually, because the paperwork moves veeeery slowly in my building. But - by Christmas I should be safe:)
But I still feel bad. It's so weird. I have earned this, but I can't ask for it, and even feel bad getting it. If I would hear it from someone else, I would say that it's ridiculous. But when it's my own things - I can't. Things to learn I guess. But still - after Christmas there will be no "flowerparty", as apparently there is no source for funding. So I think I need to catapult out of this university SOMEhow, and I think my boss will be the one making the effort to get rid of me. Which is good in a way, as usually bosses love to keep the "cheap" labor. But I'm not cheap. I'm highly qualified and expensive Eastern - European!
But people are SO nice. I know that I have friends who will help me, when the "narrow end is coming up" (kitsas käes). And it feels so good! I must have been clearly hallucinal, when in the summer I felt that nobody cares. Because people do care.
The NICEST thing was the "knight in shining armor on a white horse", chickpeas, bread and yogurt in the basket. Thank you SO much!
Life is good, if you have friends:) I feel so indescribably touched and happy! (and still not sleepy!)
maybe I met a future Nobel laureate today
I had an opportunity to have a free form meeting with Gairdner awardee Dr. Kim A. Nasmyth from Oxford University who has made a series of discoveries pinpointing the novel mechanisms in cell division that are essential to life. There was also Dr. Allan Ronald, the 2006 Gairdner Wightman laureate. Gairdner award is Canadian version of Nobel, and 74 people, who have receievd Gairdner, have received Nobel afterwards.
It was such an interesting morning. It took a little while to get going, as usually this kind of events involve everyone introducing themselves and then they get into details of their project, that I think it's completely un-necessary. I really don't care, is the name of the protein Ghfa1 or A#64 or #$%^. But, what can you do... After my turn the turning point came, and the discussion started on science and etc. In a way there was nothing new. It was said, that science has become business. People wants to publish a lot and quickly, as this is the requirement for funding and position. But this leads us to perhaps untrusty and incomplete results, as people are in a hurry, and might just miss the real discoveries, and at the same time claim something insignificant as a big thing, while not knowing the background. So Dr. Nasmyth's advice was not to believe any scientific papers. I like this idea. And it is true. I do know it from my own work, that there would be still so much to study and check, but I gotta finish as soon as possible, and thus I need to publish as soon as possible. I think, there is even a term called minimum publishable unit or something.
Dr. Nasmyth also talked about the Truth a lot. It's all about Truth in your field. And your biggest effort should go to explaining your results simply, so the others can actually understand and follow, and tell you, that you are wrong. Also, you should always just stick to the wheels and cogs, as everything else, all the system, is way too complex. I so agree with him about the simplifying part. I get lost in most of the seminars. For a longest time I thought that I'm just too dumb. But now I think it's the lack of preparation by the presenter. I try to keep my talks simple, and people seem to be liking it. I like it too. But in general it seems to be, that people want to make their work seem very complex and difficult, rather than simple. I think reason for that lies within the business politics - you have to play this game and you have to do as the others are doing. I don't like it. I want to be different.
Dr. Nasmyth also confirmed my theory, that if things don't work, then you need a break. Go walk in the forest, and think of something else. Most of the important discoveries me make, are coming from the subconcious level anyway. So here's the proof, that weekends full of work is not a correct technique.
It was great to see someone so smart, but so normal. I guess thats why he got the award. His talk was also so neat - about chromatin modeling. He covered A LOT of data, but did it so simply and interestingly.
He also said a good quote by someone whose name I forgot: "Worse than being ultimately wrong, is to be ultimately right. " ... because eventually you will be proved to be wrong anyway.
It was such an interesting morning. It took a little while to get going, as usually this kind of events involve everyone introducing themselves and then they get into details of their project, that I think it's completely un-necessary. I really don't care, is the name of the protein Ghfa1 or A#64 or #$%^. But, what can you do... After my turn the turning point came, and the discussion started on science and etc. In a way there was nothing new. It was said, that science has become business. People wants to publish a lot and quickly, as this is the requirement for funding and position. But this leads us to perhaps untrusty and incomplete results, as people are in a hurry, and might just miss the real discoveries, and at the same time claim something insignificant as a big thing, while not knowing the background. So Dr. Nasmyth's advice was not to believe any scientific papers. I like this idea. And it is true. I do know it from my own work, that there would be still so much to study and check, but I gotta finish as soon as possible, and thus I need to publish as soon as possible. I think, there is even a term called minimum publishable unit or something.
Dr. Nasmyth also talked about the Truth a lot. It's all about Truth in your field. And your biggest effort should go to explaining your results simply, so the others can actually understand and follow, and tell you, that you are wrong. Also, you should always just stick to the wheels and cogs, as everything else, all the system, is way too complex. I so agree with him about the simplifying part. I get lost in most of the seminars. For a longest time I thought that I'm just too dumb. But now I think it's the lack of preparation by the presenter. I try to keep my talks simple, and people seem to be liking it. I like it too. But in general it seems to be, that people want to make their work seem very complex and difficult, rather than simple. I think reason for that lies within the business politics - you have to play this game and you have to do as the others are doing. I don't like it. I want to be different.
Dr. Nasmyth also confirmed my theory, that if things don't work, then you need a break. Go walk in the forest, and think of something else. Most of the important discoveries me make, are coming from the subconcious level anyway. So here's the proof, that weekends full of work is not a correct technique.
It was great to see someone so smart, but so normal. I guess thats why he got the award. His talk was also so neat - about chromatin modeling. He covered A LOT of data, but did it so simply and interestingly.
He also said a good quote by someone whose name I forgot: "Worse than being ultimately wrong, is to be ultimately right. " ... because eventually you will be proved to be wrong anyway.
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Beautiful Sunday
We had planned to go to Gatineau park for a hike today. Actually it was Leslie, who initiated it. And of course we hoped for nice weather. And we got - WONDERFUL weather - plus 20 degrees, sunny... just perfect.So we just hiked around and enjoyed the autumn. So beautiful. A few pictures are attached, so you could see it too. the one with the rocks is the one, where I decided to make my way to the big rock in the middle of water. I made it there very well. The way back was more complicated, but I made it without falling in (to the disappointment of others... - just kidding).
After, I came home, and slept for 2 or more hours. But oh, I was so happy. I still am:)
On the pics: the moments I liked and Leslie and Darren.
Friday, October 19, 2007
money - such an uncomfortable topic
So - I'm out of money. I mean - really out of money. My credit card is close to maxed out and the overdraft is in use too... (the bad thing is, that when I don't have money, I don't eat. At all. And that's no good.) And the reason is that I'm simply not getting paid. I'm supposed to, but my boss hasn't signed this magical B-form. And this signing was supposed to happen around February, when my other supervisor decided to pay me less. But my supervisor was out of country, and I had some money, so I didn't bug him much. Then summer came, and he came back. And I hinted a few times, that it's time to sign this form. Nothing happened. Like water onto the goose. And then the professor, who is in charge of my program, started bugging him (and she found out on her own that I'm not getting paid). And she kept reminding him twice a week since July. Still nothing. He has hinted to me, that I need to publish and work and etc. Ok, a few weeks ago we did submit my first manuscript. And it always keeps being "tomorrow". That tomorrow we will sit down and discuss it. And this tomorrow never seems to be arriving...
So today, we had a meeting with BMI student council, and I brought up the issue in general. And then after the meeting I talked to my friend Fiona in more detail about my situation. Just in a descriptive manner.
And then - 2 hours later - lots changed. First she brought me an entire plate of veggies and sandwiches (some leftovers from a meeting), and she just went to the Faculty meeting, and she brought up my issue - in general terms. And apparently this caused a big discussion, that ended up with the decision, that the paying system will be completely changed in our department. And what concerns me, they will send an official letter to my boss, saying that he has to pay me in 5 days, or they will do it for him.
CRAZY!
And then my boss showed up, and we ended up polishing up a final report for my project (that I wrote in January!!!), and we sent it off. Only 10 month later. And it took FIVE hours - just polishing. But - I got a ride home and a bottle of nice Australian wine. And - this report is done and gone from my mind. Yay!
And hopefully on Monday we will talk my salary. I hope! Cos otherwise he's in trouble. And i really, really don't want to be a troublemaker... It makes me feel SO bad.
But for some reason - I always bring up issues, and things end up changing significantly - because of me.
Also - on another note - I hinted today, that I MIGHT want to run for a president position for our BMI council. A part of me really wants it. And I think (secretly:) that I would be a good president. But I'm slightly worried, that it will take too much of my time, and I wouldn't be able to finish on time. But the experience and prestige attract me... I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life, when I grow up...
So today, we had a meeting with BMI student council, and I brought up the issue in general. And then after the meeting I talked to my friend Fiona in more detail about my situation. Just in a descriptive manner.
And then - 2 hours later - lots changed. First she brought me an entire plate of veggies and sandwiches (some leftovers from a meeting), and she just went to the Faculty meeting, and she brought up my issue - in general terms. And apparently this caused a big discussion, that ended up with the decision, that the paying system will be completely changed in our department. And what concerns me, they will send an official letter to my boss, saying that he has to pay me in 5 days, or they will do it for him.
CRAZY!
And then my boss showed up, and we ended up polishing up a final report for my project (that I wrote in January!!!), and we sent it off. Only 10 month later. And it took FIVE hours - just polishing. But - I got a ride home and a bottle of nice Australian wine. And - this report is done and gone from my mind. Yay!
And hopefully on Monday we will talk my salary. I hope! Cos otherwise he's in trouble. And i really, really don't want to be a troublemaker... It makes me feel SO bad.
But for some reason - I always bring up issues, and things end up changing significantly - because of me.
Also - on another note - I hinted today, that I MIGHT want to run for a president position for our BMI council. A part of me really wants it. And I think (secretly:) that I would be a good president. But I'm slightly worried, that it will take too much of my time, and I wouldn't be able to finish on time. But the experience and prestige attract me... I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life, when I grow up...
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