bad day

Days are not sisters, as somebody once said. So true. I have been recently quite ok with everything. I mean my self-esteem has been high, and I have felt like a brave wolf with the greasy breast. I've felt that Im smart and pretty and I could rule the world, just if I would like to.
But that was yesterday.
Today is not this day anymore.
Today I feel unsure about the future. I feel that I'm far from being smart, and I should really keep my low profile, so people wouldn't notice my un-smartness before I get my degree. I feel that looking for a post doc is a crazy idea, because who would take me. But then what should I do?
And I still have to get out from this place.
Also, I feel alone. I could write here a long blurb, but it will sound stupid. I think stupid thoughts. I just have to get over it.

I need to find my armor, and put it on, and keep going with the metallic confidence look. But sometimes it's so hard to be the superwoman. But I guess there's no other choice.

AND - on top of that I literally burnt my bread soup today. I put on the oven (the bread and some water), and turned it on, and went to read something on the computer. Soon I heard weird noises - sort of like when you have a bonfire or sth. And when I went to the kitchen, it was FULL of smoke, and my bread was ALMOST in flames. Yikes.
But - as I was hungry, I added some water to put the heat off, and then still made it into a soup. It tastes like pure coal (süsi), but oh well...

I want tomorrow to come faster. Hopefully it will be better.