internet love

Internet is one funny thing. More specifically MSN or other chats. Yes, you write down words and you add all these crazy emoticons, and you put LOL (laugh out loud) when you laugh and you try to indicate sarcasm (Darren and I use $ symbol for sarcasm) and add the wink, if you're trying to be flirty and so on. Yet sometimes the emotions doesn't go with your words.

I have talked to S. for a few nights now. I have seen him once. He lives in Quebec and he'll start his grad studies at the University of Ottawa (I should tell him to run, but I don't... He really wants to study here. And honestly, I have had good times here too.). I really like chatting with him. We joke around and have these very "cool" dialogs (I guess they are more suitably called a bit witty (if thats a word). It's very entertaining and I really really like it). It's also a little flirty. I also like that part:) I sort of like to have this "prince on a white horse" (Kullionu, kas sa mäletad, kui me saatsime Meie Meelde või kuskile selle kuulutuse hobuste ja printside kohta? Ja siis saime ühe (!) vastuse natuke vinnilise Mareki? käest? Olid ajad...), who would be somewhere out there. And being further away adds it's own mystery.

So S. and I have just been chatting and joking around. But somehow he makes me feel so happy:) All I need is a dream. I even don't know him. All I know we have a good time chatting and joking.
Today he asked about girls in Ottawa (after I said that boys here are particularly exciting). For some reason this hurt. I felt for a few minutes, that: "that's it! I'm not talking to you anymore! Who are you anyway. And I wondered what happened to my attitude not to care.". Anyway. He was just joking. But the smirk didn't come through my internet lines. We resumed chatting, but it this tiny statement did bring me back closer to Earth.
Maybe it's good, says my logical scientist brain.
But I like my emotional brain more. She's more fun.

And - feelings and dreams... and dreams of having dreams... they won't go by usual "brain" rules anyway.